A successful sporting career is like a perfectly executed painting: the onlookers see a complete picture in the right proportions and perfect color scheme, but they don't see the blank canvas and the hours of painstaking work, the many small decisions that culminated in that final image. 

Top athletes are like that. People see a highly skillful tennis star or track athlete and don't realize that the person they admire is successful now, but failed many times on their way to success. And even in that illustrious position, they'll fail again.

That's right. You can't have success without failure. It's not possible. You can't jump in a pool of water without getting wet. 

So, the moral of the story is, if you are an athlete, you will fail, and you will fail often, and you will have to learn to deal with that fact. Let's find out how you can do that.

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Accept that failure is part and parcel of sports

Think about it. There's hardly a rider that hasn't fallen off a bike, a golfer that hasn't missed a put, or a basketball player that hasn't missed a free throw. It's simply not possible to be at the top of your game all the time. 

Kids playing matches often make mistakes and berate themselves afterward, the same way professional sports players berate themselves after losing a game. Young players and experienced players alike struggle with this; it's human, but don't get stuck there. Accept mistakes and losses and leave it in the past where it belongs. Don't bring it with you to every subsequent game and spoil that as well. 

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Frame the failure correctly

A mistake on the track, the field or the court is just a sporting mistake - you failed, but you are not a failure. This is a very important point to understand. Young people especially, must be taught this when they are first introduced to sport. 

Coaches and parents can help them to understand that they are not in some way bad or unacceptable because they missed a ball or didn't win a race. Losing doesn't make you a bad person or athlete; it just means you must learn from the experience and work a bit harder. 

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Set realistic goals

Goal setting is an effective strategy to enhance performance. It helps to focus attention and maintain motivation. However, it's important to set realistic goals. 

Athletes, young and mature, often expect only the best of themselves – to score all the winning goals during the season, to hit only winning shots, to score the most touchdowns, or to improve their sprint by thirty seconds in one week.

Coaches must help their charges set realistic goals that challenge and push them at their current level, but not so high that it's discouraging. You can encourage setting goals and point out it builds confidence and improves performance. 

Unrealistic goals set athletes up for disappointment, which can affect their mental state and future performance. 

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Understand your limitations

Many athletes may never reach the top of their sport. Others may suffer an injury that prevents them from competing at the highest levels. It may be that you have to accept your limitations. That doesn't mean you can't participate and improve, and who knows, become the best anyway. Many have done that before you. 

To avoid disappointment and keep your motivation, just try to be the best you can be by focusing on beating your previous performance. This is a trick you can learn from track athletes who focus on improving their personal best.

If you keep track of your previous performances and work at improving on them, you are bound to get better at your chosen sport. 

Here is a motto by Matty Mullins that all of us can live by: The only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday. 

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Confidence and self-belief make all the difference 

This is one aspect that family, teachers, friends and coaches can really help with. Some people are born with a killer instinct and no matter what sport they decide to pursue, they end up at the top. That killer instinct stems from unwavering self-belief. Unfortunately, we are not all born with this quality; many of us have to work at it.

Studies show that high levels of self-confidence lead to improved performance. Factors that contribute to self-belief are repeated successful performance, a high level of fitness, being involved with the success of others, positive talk (self-talk and interactions with coaches and teammates) and positive visualizations. 

The support of coaches, parents and teammates is important to help athletes handle the stress of competition and develop self-confidence. Sports psychologists encourage mental training programs for athletes from a young age. Simple tactics like teaching positive self-talk that motivates can be extremely helpful. Encouraging yourself by saying, ‘Come on, you can do it!’ is inspiring and will carry you through a rigorous practice session or a tough match.

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Don’t compare yourself to others

It's human to compare yourself with other athletes, their accomplishments, their size, speed, muscle mass, or any other aspect of them.  It may be human, but it is a fatal habit that undermines your confidence and self-belief, especially right before a competition. 

Comparing yourself to others has two outcomes: either you feel inferior, which undermines your confidence, or you feel superior, which gives your false confidence. Either way, it leaves you in a state of mind that is not conducive to an enjoyable practice session or match. Someone once said comparing two people is like comparing a tennis match to a chair. It makes no sense; the two things are completely different. 

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Learn from your heroes

It is highly unlikely that your sports hero has never failed, yet you have their picture on your wall, and their achievements are edged in your mind. How did that person overcome their disappointments?

Formula 1 legend Niki Lauda suffered multiple burns and toxic fume inhalation during a crash at the 1976 German Grand Prix. He collapsed into a coma, and for days doctors doubted if he would survive. Forty-three days later, he participated in the Italian Grand Prix and won two more championship titles before retiring.

The global phenomenon Michael Jordan is remembered as basketball's greatest player, yet he had the courage to leave the pinnacle of fame and achievement to publicly try his hand at baseball. He endured two years of mediocre efforts, but didn't let that define him or stop him from facing the music on the basketball courts to assume his position at the top.

There are countless similar examples of athletes who faced all manner of crippling adversities only to come back and reach the top of their game again. Take heart from these courageous pioneers and know that what you are facing most of the time is not nearly as challenging.

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Develop the essential ingredient - mental toughness

Have you ever wondered why some people achieve so much in life? In all spheres of life, there are people who outperform the rest. Talent, intelligence and a certain amount of luck are involved, but science has found that the one crucial ingredient is grit, or mental toughness. 

A study to determine how mental toughness, perseverance, and passion impact your ability to achieve goals, looked at the performance of cadets in the entering class at the United States Military Academy, West Point, a notoriously brutal and challenging experience.

The researchers found that it wasn’t strength, leadership or intelligence that helped cadets to survive; it was grit — the perseverance and passion to achieve long–term goals.

You can find out what your current level of mental grit is by signing up for the University of Pennsylvania's voluntary research study. Once you've done that, you can invest in strategies to develop your mental toughness further.

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Use the data failure gives you to do better next time

There are reasons why athletes fail. A match that you lost can teach you a lot about where you're at. It's an opportunity to go over events and see what went wrong. You could find that your preparation was inadequate or needs adjustment. Some successful athletes have found that their performance improves drastically when they change their diet. It might be that you need to change your team or coach as people directly involved with your sporting activities can play a crucial role in your success or lack of it. Failure to perform is often also related to goal setting. If your goals are too challenging or not challenging enough, it will affect your performance negatively. See a failed performance on the field as an opportunity to make some adjustments, not as defeat.

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Final thoughts

If you love your sport and you want to excel at it, accept that it won't be easy. Excellence is the reward for hours of hard work and persistence. Always remind yourself that nothing worth doing is easy.

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Related Articles:

• 4 Powerful Ways to Prioritize Mental Health in Athletes
• Why Mindset is Everything
• Why Focusing on Process over Outcome Matters
• How to Battle Fear and Anxiety

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